They Do Exist! Cryptid Creatures – Get Your Own!
Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch, Abominable Snowman, Windigo, Skunk Ape, Yeren, Grassman, Yowie, Oran-Pendek, and…
SQUATCHES! LOADS AND LOADS OF SQUATCHES!
It’s true! They’re real!
For years you’ve heard stories about the wild, ape-like creatures around the world.
You’ve seen the movies and the commercials. (Despite what you’ve heard, you should NOT mess with Sasquatch.)
Now, you can have your very own loveable, squishable, cuddly cryptid!
Great stress relievers, these squatchtastic companions go anywhere in your purse or wallet (if you have a big wallet).
They eat very little, despite their reputation, and are much less smelly than you would think. Kids love ‘em, pets love ‘em, parents love ‘em. Hug a squatch today!
You can’t beat German engineering! Making America thin, one squatch at a time! I can’t do this all day! Just set it and forget it!
I’m taking orders for these little guys via email. Order now! (See instructions below.)
They are created from fuzzy synthetic yarn with cotton faces. PLEASE NOTE: They are NOT baby-safe in that the eyes would pose a choking hazard for small children. They ARE toys but not meant for little ones.
Colors are approximate and may vary (depending on available yarn). For example, brown will be brown, but may not be the exact brown shown here.
COLORS AVAILABLE (not all are shown):
- Light green
- Dark green
- ? ? Suggestions welcome!
$20 each* plus S&H
HOW TO ORDER:
Due to overwhelming interest, I’m taking squatch orders via email.
Please send an email to email@example.com with the subject line: SQUATCH ORDER
Include the following information:
Your full name and address so I know where to send the order (no PO Boxes please).
How many squatches you want and what color(s) — I’ll try my best to fulfill your exact request, but it depends on the available yarn and colors may vary.
How you’ll pay for your order – I can take checks, Paypal or money orders. I can’t accept credit card orders.
BEFORE I FILL YOUR ORDER, I’LL EMAIL YOU to confirm the details. At that time, I’ll also arrange payment with you. I do not ship until I receive payment. (Even if you’re the nicest person in the world, it’s my policy to receive payment first. Sometimes, stuff happens and people can’t pay. I get it. But I can’t work for free, either!)
Please add “firstname.lastname@example.org” to your address book. Check your junk email folder if you do not see an email from me within 24 hours.